Who cares what people think?
Do you enjoy looking back though your old photos and posts on social media? If you’re like me some of those posts you probably wish never existed. Everyone has something in their past that they are embarrassed about. As we grow we change and our past interests often seem silly and childish, but It is a shame to feel embarrassed over something you used to enjoy, because that interest probably helped shape you into the person you are today. It is even worse to be embarrassed over something you currently enjoy, because that is a part of who you are. (Unless it is something you should be ashamed of) That is why I am able to dance in front of people. I do not think I am a good dancer, but I enjoy dancing, so I do it anytime I feel like. The things that you find most embarrassing are usually the things that make you, you. It’s a waste to spend your life only making a fool of yourself in private. So why is It so difficult to reveal to the public that you have an interest in something, or that you genuinely enjoy something, or even sometimes that you don’t enjoy something?
When was the last time someone asked you what kind of music you like? I bet I can guess what you said: “Oh, I like all music” right? Because that’s what everyone says. And we aren’t lying, we are perfectly capable of enjoying almost any type of music that comes on. But when we are in our cars alone, I would bet there is a specific list of bands that we like to listen to. So, if we know what musicians we like, why don’t we tell the people who ask us? It seems to me like people are perfectly happy to tell others what they like, as long as they don’t actually like those things. What I mean is that we are only willing to share the things we only “kind of” like, not the things that we are really interested in or that are meaningful to us. That way, if that person dislikes what we say we like, we can change our opinion on that thing to fit in without any significant damage to our own identity or worldview. If we were to share something that is meaningful to us and the person, we share it with rejects it, we take it personally, because it is deeply personal. That interest is a part of us, it’s a part of our personhood, to have it rejected feels terrible. But, if that person shares our interest we are able to form a bond of friendship with them almost immediately. The more real interests we share the closer that friendship becomes.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”
If you keep yourself bottled up then no one really gets to know you, and you will never be able to form a deep connection with anyone. I guess it just proves once again that to have any reward in life you have to take risks.
Being alone for a long time leads to depression. We need to socialize to be mentally healthy, and the only way we can socialize is if people are willing to put up with our presence. Which means we need to care what they think about us. Even if you’re an introvert you need to feel accepted by someone. Otherwise you will be miserable.
There are two ways you can end up alone. One is to keep yourself bottled up and never let anyone get to know the real you. The other is to open up and be rejected by everyone around you. The first way is more common. The second way hurts a lot more, but it almost never happens. You can almost talways find something in common with somebody if you try hard enough. But If it does happen, you need to find out why it happened and make a change. Either change yourself in some way, which is difficult but sometimes necessary, or change your environment and find new people who accept you.
So, “Who cares what people think” that’s what everyone says right. Well, everyone cares what people think. That’s one of the things that makes us human, we care what others think of us. Because if people don’t like us then we are left alone. And while it may feel good to be alone for a little while, eventually everyone wants someone else to talk to. So even though it is downright terrifying to admit that you find meaning in a specific song, movie, book, or activity, I highly recommend you give it a try, because the alternative is much worse.
