The Honor of the Father
It has been my privilege to spend the majority of my professional life working with my father in some capacity. He turned 50 recently and that milestone, combined with the fact that a large portion of my work is focused on the fatherless epidemic in America, had me thinking about my relationship with my father.
My relationship with my father seems unique in a number of ways. We are so similar, and he looks so young, that people often mistake us for brothers. He is one of my closest friends yet he still commands the respect that boys inherently have for their fathers. He has also been an employer and mentor for a large number of my friends throughout the years. So much so that they will still occasionally reach out to him for advice.
In his book “Wild at Heart” John Eldridge speaks about a “father wound” that he claims all men have. I tried reading this book three times because so many other men in my life have found it to be life changing. Every time I picked it up I struggled to apply it to my own life. I have determined that I am either the exception to Eldridge’s “father wound” rule or I am not emotionally mature enough to recognize it. My father has never wounded me. He has upset me and frustrated me, but never in a way that did permanent damage to my psyche and usually it was my own fault.
I say all of this not to brag about my father (or at least not JUST to brag about my father) but because my father has helped me realize something about our heavenly father that I think it is important to know. The realization came to me in 2023, I was attending a conference that my father was helping to run. At the beginning of one of the seminars, he quietly walked up to where I was sitting and asked me to step outside and help him with something. Of course, I immediately got up and came with him. Helping my father meant that I would miss out on the seminar that everyone else was enjoying. It meant that I would have to work instead of relaxing in the air-conditioned classroom. But I never felt for a second that I would have preferred to stay in that room. In fact, because of who my father is and how he lives his life, I felt honored that he had asked me for help.
My father is not perfect, but our heavenly father is, and he often asks us to do things that require sacrifice. Sacrifice of our time, our resources, and our comfort. But when the Heavenly Father invites you to make those sacrifices, it should not fill you with resentment at missing out on what others around you may have, it should fill you with honor at being chosen to take part in the good and perfect work of our Father.
Even if your relationship with your earthly father is damaged or non-existent, you likely have experienced a feeling of honor at being chosen to help by someone you look up to and respect. If we feel honored by being asked to help someone we respect, how much more should we be honored by the Heavenly Father? Don’t miss out on the honor God is giving you by feeling resentful or bitter about the sacrifice you are making. (2 Corinthians 9:7)
My father made it easy for me to see God as the perfect Heavenly Father. Yours may not have. But rest assured that the same honor that is offered to all of us. You have been given the right to become his child and take part in his work. (John 1:12)
One point I want to clarify is that God does not need your help the way your father or friend might need your help. He is perfectly able to accomplish his own will with or without your help. He invites you to take part in his work not out of need, but out of love for you. This is an ideal situation for us because it means we can have all the joy and honor of participating in meaningful work without the fear of causing irreversible damage through our own foolishness.
